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Child Sacrifice

Liberation for Child Sacrificers – Now!

I think it’s about time we introduced a full programme of child sacrifices in our churches. They could be held at key moments in the service, like just before the Peace, or after communion. After all, we already have things we normally call altars, so why not stop being lily-livered, and go the whole way and do the thing properly?

Oh, I can imagine what you’re thinking – people will be highly resistant to such practices. Well, yes, churchgoers are always a conservative lot, old fogies, many of them, stick-in-the-mud types, who simply can’t be coaxed out of their comfort zones, their old ways. But they’ll soon get used to it.

Of course it’ll be a bit … well, challenging, at first, push out the boundaries, “edgy” – mustn’t go too fast too soon; but just look at the first Christians, and people who really drove the faith forward, they did a new thing – as the Book of Revelation has it; they weren’t people opposed to change, they embraced it; change was of the essence. Now, of course there’s sure to be some narrow, mean-minded people who will insist on pointing to a few places in the Bible where it explicitly condemns the practice of child sacrifice, or indeed, pointing to the total condemnation of such an approach, throughout the book, and prolonged recommendation of different ethics – but, as that American bishop said, we wrote the Bible, and we can always re-write it; indeed, we simply have to if we’re to keep ahead of the times, and not fall away from the mores.

In the end, those bigots, the conservative fogies, will have to just accept it; who are they to impose their narrow-mindedness on real Christian people? Child sacrifice is the future. The argument’s over, won. Settled. In a few years’ time, no one will think about it for a moment.
Of course, this is all nonsense, isn’t it? We would never allow such practices as child killing; we’re too progressive today, too liberal, far too conscious of the need for child protection, and a host of rules designed to frustrate those pesky would-be molesters – youth leaders, and suchlike; we would never allow the destruction of innocent human life – child sacrifice! Oh … er … of course … of course, we do … already … vast amounts of it … it’s called “choice” … worse than anything – Aztecs, Nazis – that ever was done before … and people – “Christians” – condone it …